Eulogy

Below are haikus made from observations in the 2 weeks after my father in law passed away. It took plane flights, driving a 25 hour trek from Texas to Virginia, and being uncomfortable in other ways to take care of funeral and other arrangements (and that list is not complete as of this writing, nor does it reflect the discomfort that others have had to endure during this tragic time).

He was a quiet guy of few words, friends in low places, and seemed content with what he had. I know he loved his daughters though he didn't always know how to show it in their younger years. I feel that he was proud of what they were able to accomplish as adults despite what they came through.

It's been hard and surprising to hear of abuse and adversity that he had to overcome as a child, and how it may explain different things about the man I've only met a handful of times. It is surprising that he was a gentle man who I can't imagine raising his voice at anyone. It is surprising to see how a man perfectly happy to sit in silence had friends who loved him dearly and the generosity that was shown in unexpected places on his behalf. Or how he was the go-to confidant for various woes of his cousin. That makes me think that the things that speak to a person's character are the things that can't be explained by their past experience (that is someone being who they are despite who they should be).

We will miss you, Tony. I'm sad that my children have been robbed of so many grand parents at a young age. I will love your daughter always.

funeral deadline.

"made it" depends on the snow.

some plans come to naught.

check-box to-do list

but they only capture fear

and i still forget

crash. traffic for miles.

but to the overhead plane

a river of stars

pool hall strangers came

with unexpected gestures.

a church was not found.

funeral dad role:

pay attention to the kids

and their brush with death

there's no way to win

when a word well spoken here

betrays the silence

out in pool hall bars

not in pews or in chapel

he found his people

a hole in the ground

after just a couple weeks

is hazard half filled

i'm tired of mountains

and man made towers when i

look for the heavens